


To Fall in Love

by lucernis



Series: Song of a Siren [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (and Logan’s heart), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Creativity | Roman “Princey” Sanders is a prince, Creativity | Roman “Princey” Sanders is the heir to the throne, Creativity | Roman “Princey” Sanders steals a pirate ship, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Logic | Logan Sanders is a siren, M/M, Made up mythology, Mermaids, Mutual Pining, Royalty, Secret Santa, Sirens, at least for now, bittersweet/unhappy ending, emotional whumping by the author, for the sirens, gratuitous use of disney songs, gratuitous use of frozen 2 songs specifically, i needed siren songs and i can’t write songs so what are you gonna do am i right, is that a thing? whatever now it’s a thing, kind of?, no one likes feelings in this gay household, one (1) use of a song from a musical, sirens mistaken for mermaids, so is roman though, yeah these boys are back on their bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21892441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucernis/pseuds/lucernis
Summary: Roman was to be king. He couldn’t go off on adventures just because his heart was being torn out of his chest and towards a voice that no one else believed existed. Being king to Roman was a burden greater than the one Atlas bore, heavier than the sky itself.A voice, desperate and pleading, called out over the ocean. It soared along the waves and dipped into the currents, searching for someone, anyone, that would listen. With each passing moment, the cry grew weaker, the power it had once held falling away. Soon enough, no one would hear it.Dreams do work in mysterious ways, don’t they?
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Song of a Siren [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1597027
Comments: 19
Kudos: 30
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	1. Prologue (The Whispers of Lovers)

**Author's Note:**

> secret santa gift for: [ari-the-anxious-ace](https://ari-the-anxious-ace.tumblr.com/)
> 
> merry christmas and happy holidays, i hope you enjoy this monster of a logince fic :)
> 
> special thanks to [eleven-lemons](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/eleven-lemons), a god send who also happens to be my beta reader for this fic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman hears the call of a siren and Logan is finally satisfied with what he has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song in this chapter is none other than [into the unknown](https://open.spotify.com/track/3Z0oQ8r78OUaHvGPiDBR3W?si=DqNvAsCHRHO7hxZj2kTgjQ) from frozen 2
> 
> (yes this does start out incredibly similar to the plot of that movie, but it’s really not i swear)

Roman had been hearing a voice for weeks now. It called to him across the vast ocean, it’s haunting lilt impossible to forget. The sound of it occupied his thoughts every waking moment and invaded his dreams while he slept.

The first few times, he’d tried to ignore it. It had been quiet at first, a melody so soft he could barely hear it. In the beginning, it had been easy to ignore the pull that came with it too. Sure, it tugged at his heart and left a nagging feeling in his head no matter what he did, but it had been manageable. 

It was far less manageable now. Now, the song was louder. He could hear it no matter where he was, no matter what he did. Roman had taken to sitting on his balcony and just listening. The voice calling to him was beautiful; low and silky, deep and sweet. He was enchanted by it. He longed to know who it belonged to, where it came from—and the strengthening pull of the song definitely wasn’t dissuading him. 

But he couldn’t follow the voice. He couldn’t go where his heart begged him to, where his mind told him he had to. It was impossible.

It wasn’t that he didn’t think he could do it. On the contrary, Roman knew he’d be able to find where the voice came from with a surety he’d never felt in his life. He’d never sailed anywhere before, not once, but he’d be able to find the voice. He was certain of it, more certain than he was that the sun would rise in the morning. 

No, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Roman couldn’t just up and decide to set sail in search of a voice that no one else seemed to hear. The problem was that Roman wasn’t _allowed_ to do that. 

He never would be either, not if it took him away from home. Not if it took him away from his duties, away from the castle, away from the throne.

Roman was to be king. He couldn’t go off on adventures just because his heart felt like it was being torn out of his chest and towards a voice that no one else believed existed. He was to be king, he couldn’t do just anything.

The thought dragged down his normally light spirit. He felt as though the crown promised to him was a shackle, keeping him trapped in a prison of gold and marble. Being king to Roman was a burden greater than the one Atlas bore, heavier than the sky itself.

More than anything, he wanted to forget his duty to the kingdom. He wanted to leave, even for a little while. He only wanted to find the voice, he could come back after that. _It wouldn’t be a long journey,_ he told himself.

Somehow though, he knew that was a lie. The voice’s hold on him now was near painful in its intensity, who knew what it would be like when he got closer. If he left, he wouldn’t come back.

Which was why he couldn’t leave, no matter how much his entire being wished and hoped and dreamed to follow the sound of that lovely song.

Even still, Roman stood on his balcony each night, listening and longing. When the pull from the voice was especially strong, he had found that parroting back its tune helped to lessen its intensity. That was where he could be found most nights, ignoring his need for sleep and humming an unknown song, void of words.

Roman’s heart ached, but he would survive this. He didn’t follow the voice, no matter how much he wanted to. He did what was asked of him, wore his crown, exuded an air of perfection. He made sure to never have a hair out of place, never let anyone notice the bags under his eyes. His smiles stayed dazzling, his eyes stayed bright. Nothing was wrong.

Nothing was wrong at all until the voice began to whisper lyrics along with the melody he’d been hearing for months.

_“Someone out there…”_

Like the melody had, the lyrics started out faint. Roman only caught snatches of them every so often, but it was almost enough to drive him insane.

_“A little bit… you…”_

Just as he had before, he tried to ignore the song. 

_“Knows… not where you’re meant to be…”_

It didn’t work this time.

_“Every day’s a little harder.”_

Because soon the voice grew clearer. Roman could hear more of the song, and it had him spellbound.

_“Don’t you know there’s a part of you that longs to go…”_

The lyrics spoke to him in a way nothing ever had. The words echoed thoughts he’d tried to hide for longer than he cared to admit, and suddenly Roman couldn’t stand the pounding of his heart and the way it mimicked the beat of the song.

_“Into the unknown.”_

He was done for. There was no way anyone could have ignored a call as strong as this, and Roman had already tried to for so long. He couldn’t keep pretending he was fine forever. The crack in his mask that was currently forming had always been inevitable. 

He’d resisted for so long. It was a relief beyond words to finally acknowledge and accept what he’d always known. 

Roman was leaving the palace. He wasn’t going to be king. He wasn’t coming back. He was going to follow the cord tied around his heart and find the source of that voice. Nothing was going to stop him. Not his family, who he scribbled a hasty, half-hearted note to as he all but sprinted to the edge of his balcony. Not his friends, who he’d never had in the first place. Not his kingdom, as it would undoubtedly find a way to thrive without him. With nothing weighing him down anymore, Roman felt like he could fly.

He couldn’t though, so he didn’t leap off the balcony as he was so tempted to do and instead, he chose to carefully maneuver himself down the wall of the castle. He dropped to the ground when he ran out of hand and foot holds. The smile he’d had on his face since making his decision never faltered as he ran across the grounds, ignored by every guard he passed. He was the future king, he could do anything he wanted.

He was the future king, and he was going to steal a pirate ship. 

Roman let out an involuntary laugh, spurred on by the pure joy bubbling up in his chest as he ran towards the docks. 

The voice called out to him, and for the first time, Roman didn’t try to ignore it. He sang back to it instead, the lyrics coming naturally.

“Are you out there?  
Do you know me?  
Can you feel me?  
Can you show me?”

The voice replied with the melody he’d been hearing for months and Roman repeated it, unable to help himself. Why stop, after all? He was too happy to stop.

As Roman paused in front of a rather imposing ship, and the voice lowered to a whisper as though in reverence. This was it. The pirate ship his kingdom had captured, supposedly the fastest vessel on the seas. 

It was Roman’s now.

He ran up the ramp and let his instincts guide him into preparing the ship as the voice began singing again. Roman hummed along with it, not sure if he’d ever be able to stop smiling.

Roman’s hands easily twisted a final knot into place and without warning, the voice stopped. It cut out completely for the first time since Roman had started hearing it. His mind was filled with lyrics again, and he asked it, “Where are you going? Don’t leave me alone! How do I follow you…” Roman held the note, and it rang out over the ocean as the ship began to drift away from land. He took a breath when the voice still didn’t start up again. “Into the unknown?” 

There was still no answering call, but Roman felt the cord around his heart grow tighter. Even without the voice to guide him, he’d be able to find his way, that was still a fact cemented into his very being.

He breathed in the air around him and tossed back his head. His smile still hadn’t faded, and Roman’s heart beat out that familiar melody again. At long last, he was going to find the voice that had haunted him for so long. He was going to be one of the lucky few to achieve his dream.

Roman laughed, and the wind whipped through his hair. For the first time in his life, he felt truly free.

* * *

A voice, desperate and pleading, called out over the ocean. It soared along the waves and dipped into the currents, searching for someone, anyone, that would listen. With each passing moment, the cry grew weaker, the power it had once held falling away. Soon enough, no one would hear it.

The owner of the voice didn’t want that. He wanted—no, _needed_ —someone to hear his song before it was too late. He didn’t know why no one was answering him. While he would always place his trust in the ocean and his own magic to carry his call to whoever would be most susceptible to it, he was beginning to grow unsure that anyone could hear it. If his voice had lost enough of its power that it couldn’t make it off the island, he didn’t know what he’d do.

He didn’t know if there was anything he _could_ do.

_Would he die,_ he wondered morbidly, _if the ocean wasn’t able to find someone for him to lure?_ That almost sent him into a panicked spiral, but he shoved it down. He couldn’t afford to lose faith. If he did, his song definitely wouldn’t reach anyone.

So he waited, holding onto as much hope as he dared. He waited, and received no response for almost a week more.

But then, he heard something. An echo of his own song, whispered back to him. He breathed it in, taking in just enough sweetness of the listener’s dream to know what to sing of. His eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, and he smiled.

_“Or am I someone out there who’s a little bit like you?_  
_Who knows deep down you’re not where you’re meant to be?”_

He could feel a sharp pull as the part of the dream he’d taken reached back to where it came from. More of the honeyed dream seeped into him and pulled the rest ever nearer, and he knew his victim was hooked. Wherever he was, he was coming, as surely as night followed day.

He was coming, and he would bring his dream with him in all of its sugary delectability. 

Logan could already taste it on the wind, drawing closer with every breath. He grinned, teeth bared in some approximation of a human smile. He was going to survive, and that fact brought him closer to the happiness that humans so often flaunted than anything else ever could.

Finally, he would be able to drain a human of their dream and _live_ again.


	2. Like Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman, at long last, finds the dream he’s been chasing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the songs in this chapter are (also) from frozen 2: [show yourself](https://open.spotify.com/track/50WeOnXhM1H7AZEeIDoWfZ?si=m4G-0QqnQoSHKDEvvn_q6Q) and [all is found](https://open.spotify.com/track/61HVbcNeRACZpyvHrc3AnD?si=_iIP6rf-Sh-q2t_a9Vol5w)
> 
> (no more frozen 2 songs after this i promise)

After going for months without a moment away from the voice’s call, Roman feels lonely in its absence. The silence is all-encompassing, and he has to concentrate just as hard on ignoring his discomfort as he had on ignoring the song that had plagued him before. It feels so long ago that Roman can’t believe how little time has passed.

As the days draw on, he busies himself with sailing the ship, somehow knowing which ropes to tie where and which way to steer despite never having done anything like this in his life. It serves as a distraction from the sudden stillness that envelopes him though, and it will get him to the source of the voice, so he certainly isn’t going to complain.

When he’s not steering the ship or adjusting the sails, Roman is belowdecks, holed up in the small library he’d found in the captain’s quarters. There isn’t much else to do onboard, so Roman settles for reading the largely dull books that line the shelves, their pages filled with topics that range from geography to mythology, though Roman isn’t able to find anything that captures his interest for longer than an hour or two. Still, it’s better than focusing on the quiet surrounding him.

Every so often, when the books can’t keep him occupied and there’s nothing he needs to do to keep the ship on course, Roman sings. He knows so many songs, but the only thing he sings during his journey out is the melody that, even now, won’t stop running through his mind. If he’s being perfectly honest, he desperately wants to hear the voice again. Based on his logic, if he continues to sing to it the same way it had sung to him, it might just answer.

It never does, but that doesn’t stop Roman from dreaming.

* * *

He hasn’t been traveling for more than a week when he lowers the sails and begins to slow down. There is an island on the horizon, and for the first time since he’d begun this journey, the cord around his heart tightens. It tugs gently, and Roman knows that this island is where the voice had come from. This is the place. He can’t stop a smile from growing to take over his face because this… this is it.

As he nears the island, the sun is beginning to set. It causes Roman to shiver, and he’s more than a little shocked by the cool breeze that blows over the ship. He hadn’t realized he’d gone this far north, but he supposes it makes sense. He’s been sailing for a few days, and his kingdom isn’t that far from the northernmost tip of the continent. It makes sense that the island he’s come across is a colder one at this point.

By the time he’s drawn as close as he can to the island and dropped anchor, the sun has set completely and both the sea and sky have turned an inky black, lit only by scattered pinpricks of starlight. It’s beautiful in a way that’s so different from the palace he’d left, and Roman finds he far prefers this sort of beauty. The cold wind that chills him to the bone only adds to the mystical aura of the island and even as he shivers, Roman is smiling. Something inside him had started to glow in anticipation as soon as he’d seen the island for the first time, and that glow has since settled into his chest, leaving him with a feeling of completeness. If he hadn’t already known it to be true, the feeling of everything clicking into place would have tipped him off that yes, this is right. He is here; this is where he’s meant to be.

For a blissful moment, Roman listens to the sound of waves lapping at the sides of his stolen ship. He feels more at home here than he ever had in a crown, and he wants to savor the warmth that fills him. 

But the moment passes, and the warmth slowly begins to fade. Roman is here for a reason, and the glow receding from its place around his heart reminds him of that. He still doesn’t hear the voice though. It’s been silent for so long now that frankly, it’s unnerving. He wants it back.

“Ah-ah, ah-ah,” Roman sings out the familiar tune, praying that the voice responds this time. 

_“Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah.”_

_There it is._ Roman grins, pulling off his jacket and heavy boots before laying them near the wheel of the ship. He’s colder now, but losing his long coat and shoes will make it easier for him to swim to the island. He pulls himself up the side of the ship, standing at the bow. Taking a deep breath, he dives into the icy waters.

The cold of the sea nearly sucks the air from his lungs as he slips beneath the waves in a cloud of bubbles. Quickly, he resurfaces, gasping for air. Fighting back a full-body shiver, Roman begins paddling toward the island, grateful that despite the cold winds, the ocean is relatively calm tonight.

He makes it to the shore sooner than he would have expected and pulls himself onto the rocky beach. The strength in his arms that comes with sword fighting translates rather well to swimming, apparently. Roman stands, clothes dripping onto the pebbles that make a mockery of the fine, white sands he has back in his own kingdom. He shivers again before shaking off the cold and scanning the island. 

When his eyes land on a cave that glows a royal blue color from within, Roman knows with absolute surety that the voice had come from there. Squeezing out his shirt as much as he can, he uses it to dry the rest of his body in a poor attempt to make himself warmer. Giving a final shiver, Roman begins to make his way toward the cave.

As he passes through the entrance and he himself is bathed in the blue light, Roman finds himself growing warmer bit by bit. Strange though it is, he’s not about to complain.

Roman turns in a circle, looking about the cave in search of… well, he isn’t quite sure. His mind is again flooded with lyrics he’s never heard before, and he sings them in the hope that the voice will respond. 

“Come to me now,  
Open your door.   
Don’t make me wait one moment more.”

He doesn’t receive a verbal response, but the blue glow grows brighter from behind a grouping of stalagmites. Roman walks toward it, repeating his plea. 

“Come to me now,  
Open your door.   
Don’t make me wait one moment more!”

There is still no response, but despite that, Roman finds himself climbing between the stalagmites in an effort to reach the light that continues to shine with ever more intensity. As he makes his way past the final stalagmite in his path, he finally receives a reply.

_“Where the north wind meets the sea,_   
_There’s a river full of memory.”_

Roman runs barefoot towards the voice, somehow managing to not slice his feet open on the rocks beneath them. A smile spreads across his face once more as he stops short upon reaching the entrance to the grotto.

He stands there, taking in the stunning scene of intricate rock formations lining a dark pool in the center of it all, lit up by moonlight and that deep blue light emanating from a shadowed figure near the water’s edge. Roman steps closer, curious. Is this figure what he’s been looking for all this time? He takes another step, then another. Little by little, Roman draws near enough to walk into the blue light. Every logical part of his brain _screams_ at him not to, but Roman has never been one to sacrifice his dreams to logic. He certainly isn’t going to now, not when he’s so close to the dream he’s been chasing.

He reaches out his hand, letting it be swallowed up by the light. Nothing happens to it, so Roman follows suit, fully submerging himself in the blue glow. He blinks, eyes adjusting slowly to the light and sees… a mermaid? His jaw falls open involuntarily as it gestures for him to come closer, singing, _“Come, my darling, homeward bound.”_

Feeling his heartbeat grow faster, Roman takes another few tentative steps towards the mermaid, sitting down in front of it. With a softness that’s completely uncharacteristic of his normal voice, he sings in an awed whisper, “I am found.”

The mermaid reaches towards him and places a hand on his face, brushing against it gently before pulling away again. It—no, _he,_ Roman decides. Calling the mermaid, someone who looks so human, “it” feels wrong in a way he can’t describe—he begins to sing again. At first, it’s just the soft melody he’d been hearing for months. _“Ah-ah, ah-ah. Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah.”_ Then, taking Roman’s hands in his, the mermaid continues the song he’d called out with only a few moments before.

_“Where the north wind meets the sea_   
_There’s a river full of memory_   
_Sleep, my darling, safe and sound_   
_For in this river, all is found.”_

Unconsciously, Roman moves closer to the mermaid who, for his part, merely smiles as he continues to sing. 

_“In its waters, deep and true_   
_Lie the answers and a path for you_   
_Dive down deep into the sound_   
_But not too deep, or you’ll be drowned.”_

Roman is so completely enchanted by the mermaid that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring himself to be disturbed by the lyrics. Instead, he allows himself to be held captive by the mermaid’s blue-eyed gaze as he sings with a voice so clear and rich that there’s simply no way it could ever be replicated by a human. 

_“Yes, it will sing to those who’ll hear_   
_And in its song, all magic flows_   
_But can you brave what you most fear?_   
_Can you face what the river knows?”_

The mermaid’s voice grows softer as Roman moves closer again, leaning against his chest that rumbles gently as he sings. The sensation causes Roman’s heart to do flips within his chest and his eyes to flutter shut in contentment. He’d traveled so far from home, but lying on the mermaid’s chest as he sings makes it all worth it in Roman’s eyes.

_“Where the north wind meets the sea_   
_There’s a river full of memory_   
_Come, my darling, homeward bound_   
_When all is lost, then all is found.”_

Roman sighs, completely blissed out in that moment. He can’t imagine a better place to be and if he has his way, this night will never end. 

But ending is exactly what it’s doing as the sky slowly lightens and the stars begin to fade. Carefully, the mermaid lifts Roman’s head off his chest as though he’s made of glass. He presses a delicate kiss to Roman’s forehead that leaves its victim a blushing mess before slipping into the pool of water he’d had his tail submerged in.

With the mermaid gone, the spell Roman felt he’d been under is very nearly broken. The soft kiss still has him in shambles, but the rest of his mind is slowly clearing. He blinks, trying to make sense of his surroundings. The sun is rising, he reminds himself, glancing up to the gap in the ceiling of the small grotto. He’s been here all night, though it certainly hasn’t felt like it. Roman stands up anyway, figuring that without the mermaid there, he has no reason to stick around. He had found the voice. There’s no reason for him to stay anchored by this island any longer, is there?

_No, there isn’t,_ Roman tells himself. _But…_

He hadn’t come to find the voice just out of curiosity. He’d come for the promise of freedom and adventure the voice had sung of, the idea that he would be able to leap headfirst into the unknown and, for the first time in his life, truly be free.

Roman has a duty to go back home and rule over his kingdom, but the lure of adventure is too tempting to pass up. He’d been doomed to stay here from the start, just as he’d suspected when he’d been back in the palace.

He can’t tell if it’s because of the mermaid himself or the freedom and adventure he’d promised, but Roman is inescapably bound to him. And for some reason, he can’t bring himself to feel any inkling of remorse about that.


	3. Like Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Logan discovers that maybe, he does have feelings after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song in the chapter is [i see the light](https://open.spotify.com/track/6klpXs2uAjagnZMFkt4qkl?si=EuJSAoNIRdiARlpNjsHh1A) from tangled

Logan has never fallen in love before, nor does he think he ever will. And this… thing that he feels? Surely it can’t be love. What he feels is clearly closer to infatuation, and calling it love would only be doing such a powerful, beautiful emotion a disservice.

No, Logan most certainly isn’t in love with the man who had sailed for what had undoubtedly been countless hours just to hear his song, the man who had looked at him with such admiration in his eyes that Logan had felt his voice waver, just barely. There’s no way that Logan could have fallen in love with a man who he’d seen all of one time, no matter how captivating his warm, brown eyes had seemed. The fact that Logan finds himself haunted by the need to run his fingers through the other man’s hair is irrelevant, as is the fact that his eyes had been drawn to the other’s lips far too often because of course, Logan is not in love.

That would be ludicrous. 

Besides, as far as he knows, sirens can’t fall in love. From an evolutionary standpoint alone, it makes no sense for them to be able to. What cruel deity would grant a monster enough feeling to fall in love with its victim? That would only hinder its survival so logically, it would follow that the emotion would ultimately be eradicated from the species. Logan is of the belief that if there’s no use for it, it shouldn’t be kept around.

So Logan isn’t in love. Logically, he can’t be. 

He assures himself of this again and again as he waits for night to arrive once more, lying at the bottom of the pool in the center of the grotto. Really, if what he’d been taught when he was younger is true, he shouldn’t be able to feel anything at all. Just as with love, other emotions hold really no evolutionary advantages. 

According to his educators, sirens don’t feel any emotion on the wide spectrum that humans live with day to day. Logan had not only believed them, he’d actually been relieved upon learning that. Humans’ emotions are the very things that lead to their demise by a siren’s hand. Their wants, their dreams, ambitions, and secret desires make them painfully easy to manipulate. And they don’t even make an effort to mask these things; their hopes are worn on their sleeve for anyone to see. It makes them so easy to lure in. All Logan has to do is sing a haunting chorus promising them whatever they please, and they’re his. After that’s done, it doesn’t take him long to drain that intense longing from them. 

It’s all just so _easy,_ and the ease of it is all due to the sirens’ lack of emotions. 

If—and _only_ if—Logan were in love, his entire worldview would be turned on its head. Everything he’d ever believed would be wrong, and he’s certain that he would not be able to handle that.

So it’s better this way. It’s better that he isn’t in love with the man who dreams so intensely of adventure, whose smile tells stories millions of times better than anything Logan could hope to sing of. 

Yes. It’s definitely better.

But. 

But what if, even though Logan is as far from in love as it’s possible to be, he drains someone else? The man who’d heard him, he… he doesn’t deserve to lose his dream. He’s come too far, Logan doesn’t want to take that from him. Logan’s dying, sure, but someone else will hear him before too long. Statistically, it’s nearly impossible for someone else _not_ to hear him.

Though statistically, by now, he also should have drained three people since his last victim. He averages one draining a month and has never gone more than two and a half months without draining _anyone,_ so this is a statistical anomaly. And that means Logan has no idea what he should expect. 

If he doesn’t choose to drain _this_ man, there’s a very real possibility that he won’t be able to drain anyone before it’s too late. 

Logan doesn’t want to die.

Logan doesn’t want to drain the man with gold already laced into the single word he’d spoken.

So Logan is trapped in a decision he doesn’t want to make. But he has to. There’s no other choice. 

And if he’s being honest, his decision was already made for him. He was never going to risk his own life for the dream of one human, no matter how captivating. No matter how much he may regret his decision one day, he can’t change the ending of this story. He’s going to drain the human, as it is in his nature to do, and the human is going to lose his dream. All will be as it should.

Yet for some reason, Logan still can’t get the man he’s going to drain out of his head.

* * *

When the stars begin to light his grotto a few hours later, Logan’s eyes flutter open and he pulls himself out of the water, sitting on the edge of the pool and letting his tail sit in it. He knows the man who’d visited last night hasn’t left the island yet—Logan can still feel the fragment of the dream he’d stolen calling to the part nearby that remains within its owner—though he doesn’t know if he’ll visit now on his own. So while Logan wouldn’t normally waste his voice when his victim is this close, he doesn’t want to take any chances.

Using the same melody he’d been singing for weeks, he calls, _“Ah-ah, ah-ah.”_

Almost immediately, the man responds with his own beautiful, “Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah.”

Logan takes that to mean that he’ll be arriving soon, so he leans back on his forearms, looking through the hole in his ceiling at the sky while he deliberates what he should sing for his victim tonight. Perhaps he’ll sing a song that won’t take more of his power than he should waste to create, something that the man may already know. If Logan’s lucky, his victim will have a positive memory attached to it and will stay for longer, long enough for Logan to drain even more of his dream from him. He can’t afford to take his time with this man, not when he was so close to choosing to let him go earlier in the day.

He’s still musing over his options when the man alerts Logan to his presence by stumbling over a stalagmite. His eyes meet Logan’s, and he grins. “Hi!”

Logan blinks. This is highly unusual, why is his victim trying to communicate with him? Oh, he _definitely_ should have started singing earlier. Now this man will be waiting for him to respond, and Logan doesn’t want to do that. Taking to his victim could mean becoming attached, and he’s already struggling with that as it is. He will not answer.

It doesn’t seem to matter what he’s chosen to do though, because the man continues talking without waiting for a response as soon as he’s caught his balance again. “I’m Roman.”

Upon hearing that, Logan all but recoils. No, he _can’t_ know this man’s name. Knowing someone’s name is even worse than talking to them when it comes to forming attachment. Again, Logan refuses to respond.

And again, it doesn’t seem to matter. Roman— _no,_ Logan’s victim—walks the rest of the way over to him, sitting down in the same spot he had the night before. He speaks once more, apparently not caring whether or not Logan is going to reply. “So, I don’t know what your whole deal is with the singing and whatnot, but I thought it was only fair that I return the favor. Would you mind terribly if I sang to you tonight instead?”

And oh, Logan knows this is a _horrible_ thing to agree to. The few words that this man had sung yesterday had already been enough to get Logan to fall in love with his voice of spun gold. He can’t imagine how strong his feelings could grow to be if he hears a whole song. No, he should definitely refuse the offer. He should ignore Roman’s— _no,_ his victim’s—request. Really, the best thing for him to do would be to sing. Any song would do, any song would distract him from this offer that is far too tempting.

But no. For the first time in his life, Logan has no intention to listen to logic, to do what he undoubtedly should. Those brown eyes twinkle once, and Logan nods. He can’t tell if it’s an unconscious action or not, and he doesn’t particularly care to find out.

He especially doesn’t care to find out when he hears the first strains of that voice, the voice that he hadn’t even realized had been haunting him just as much as Roman’s eyes or hair or lips or smile. Logan may be the siren of the two, but his voice is too otherworldly. Beautiful, of course, but Roman’s voice has a quality to it that’s just so _human_ that Logan could never hope to replicate it.

He never would have thought that he’d be referring to something as human with such awe, and he doesn’t think he likes this new development. He doesn’t think he likes how enchanted he is by just the barest hints of Roman’s voice, either. Logan has to force himself out of the trance-like state he’d fallen into upon hearing Roman truly sing for the first time, somehow managing to drag himself back to reality.

“…All that time, never even knowing  
Just how blind I’ve been.  
Now I’m here, blinking in the starlight  
Now I’m here, suddenly I see.  
Standing here, it’s all so clear  
I’m where I’m meant to be.”

Logan recognizes the song. He’s definitely heard it before, and there’s something about it that prods at his mind. He can’t quite place it for whatever reason, but he finds he doesn’t mind all that much. For now, at least, he can go against his better judgment and just listen to Roman sing. 

“And at last, I see the light  
And it’s like the fog has lifted  
And at last, I see the light  
And it’s like the sky is new  
And it’s warm and real and bright  
And the world has somehow shifted  
All at once, everything looks different  
Now that I see you.”

With a sudden intake of breath, Logan realizes what he’d been trying to remember. This song is a duet. A _romantic_ duet, at that. What the hell is Roman trying to do? He can’t possibly expect Logan to sing with him, can he?

Yet again, Logan is shocked by this man’s audacity and stubborn silence. He says nothing, just watches Logan expectantly. Without a second thought and not knowing what kind of insanity is washing over him, Logan takes a breath and starts to sing the second verse.

_“All those years, chasing down a daydream_   
_All those years, living in a blur_  
 _All that time, never truly seeing_  
 _Things, the way they were_  
 _Now you’re here, shining in the starlight_   
_Now you’re here, suddenly I see._  
 _If you’re here, it’s crystal clear_  
 _I’m where I’m meant to go.”_

The lyrics Logan had sung don’t fit him nearly as well as Roman’s had, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is the smile on Roman’s face, the smile reserved for Logan and Logan alone right now. He opens his mouth to continue the song, and Logan follows suit, remembering that there’s a final chorus in the song.

“And at last I see the light,” they sing in unison, Logan letting Roman’s voice overpower his. He does this for purely chivalrous reasons, not because he wants an excuse to listen to Roman’s voice for even longer.

It’s Logan’s line next, _“And it’s like the fog has lifted.”_

Then together again, “And at last I see the light.”

“And it’s like the sky is new.” Logan almost can’t breathe as Roman holds that last note, and he definitely misses the beginning of the next line by a beat or two as he reminds himself to take a breath before singing with Roman once more.

“And it’s warm and real and bright  
And the world has somehow shifted.”

Both Logan and Roman pause briefly, and Logan notices abruptly how close they’ve gotten to each other over the course of the song. It’s very close. He takes a breath and watches probably too intently as Roman does the same. They finish the song almost unbearably softly.

“All at once, everything is different  
Now that I see you.  
Now that I see you.”

The final note is held over the span of a few seconds before both singers let it fade to silence. Roman smiles, and Logan does too.

But without the song to distract him, Logan realizes what he’s done. He’s sung a duet with the man he’s supposed to be _draining._ This is the opposite of right, and Logan’s eyes go wide as he turns to escape back into the water. He desperately doesn’t want to discover what the consequences of his choices are.

Logan has nearly slipped away when he feels a pressure on his wrist. “Wait!” He turns, the grip on his wrist the only thing keeping him from falling and is met with Roman’s distressed expression. “I don’t even know your name,” he says quietly.

Logan’s mouth opens, and he debates for the briefest moment of weakness what would happen if he did tell Roman his name. But then, of course, he comes to his senses and shakes his head, snapping his mouth shut and making a weak attempt to pull his wrist free.

“Can you not talk? Is that it?”

Logan shakes his head again, a frown growing on his face as he becomes more desperate to escape Roman’s grip.

“Do you not want to talk, then?”

This time, Logan responds with a half shrug. It’s partially true, at least, and he might as well give Roman some sort of answer. 

Speaking of Roman, _how_ is he holding on so _easily?_ He must be quite strong, with his arms and chest perfectly toned beneath his shirt and Logan wonders what would happen if he reached out and— _no._ That wasn’t where Logan had planned to go with that thought at all. He mentally shakes himself and tries again.

Roman doesn’t seem to be straining the slightest bit to keep his hold on to Logan’s wrist despite the siren’s best attempts to break away (that’s better). No, Roman’s demeanor is still perfectly calm as he asks his next question, “Is it that you don’t _want_ to tell me your name?”

At this, Logan nods vigorously, pausing in his attempts to escape to gaze at Roman with wide eyes, trying to agree with him and convey his request to be given his wrist back at the same time.

Apparently, Roman is too dense to figure out what he’s asking. Or maybe he’s willfully ignoring Logan. That could be it. Either way though, his hold on Logan’s wrist remains as firm as ever as he says, “Well, I can’t just keep referring to you in my head as ‘the mermaid,’ can I?”

The mermaid? Why would he call Logan the— _oh._ Roman believes that Logan is a _mermaid,_ not a siren. Suddenly, he understands why Roman isn’t the least bit afraid of him. Mermaids are described as benevolent creatures in mythology as far as Logan knows, so he can see why Roman would want to befriend him instead of being immediately frightened off.

“So?” Roman snaps Logan out of his musings, tapping his wrist with a finger to get his attention. “What should I call you?”

Much like with the duet, Logan knows very well what he _should_ do. He _should_ shake his head, get back into the water one way or another—dragging Roman down with him if need be—and drain his victim before he becomes even more attached than he already is.

But, much like with the duet, Logan ignores his better judgment. “Logan,” he rasps, his speaking voice gravelly and hoarse, contrasting sharply with the voice he sings in.

“Logan,” Roman repeats, rolling the word over in his mouth in a way that has no right to make Logan blush as hard as he does.

Instead of addressing the current shade of red coloring his face, Logan tugs his arm pointedly. He looks up at Roman with a raised eyebrow, hoping that blush isn’t as noticeable as he feels it is.

“Ah, right.” Now it’s Roman’s turn to flush, and Logan definitely notices. Odd. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks as he lets go.

Logan is so shocked by his question that he’s frozen in place for a solid second and a half. When he comes to his senses again, he gives a short nod and dives back into the water, not waiting around for Roman to say anything else that will end with Logan making an even bigger fool of himself.

Sirens don’t need sleep to survive, but Logan finds himself wanting to fall into it anyway. The action is far preferable to analyzing what had just happened, after all. There isn’t a single more efficient way of avoiding one’s thoughts than going to sleep. 

So that’s what Logan finds himself doing. He sinks to the bottom of the pool in the middle of the grotto, shutting his eyes and completely ignoring any thoughts of Roman that happen to cross his mind.

It’s better this way.


	4. Through the Lonely Nights That Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman is incredibly gay and may be coming on just a bit too strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no songs in this chapter, but—
> 
> warning(s): unresolved argument

Roman has become nearly nocturnal over the past few weeks, ever since the first night he’d met Logan. He’s stayed awake all through the night, both singing and talking with Logan, who seems to only be awake at night. Not that he’s going to complain—seeing Logan at all is more than he would ever have dreamed possible—but it has caused him to adjust his sleep schedule a fair bit. Being fully awake when the stars are all out is a new experience, and Roman has found that he enjoys it very much.

_Especially_ if it means getting to see Logan.

Logan, the enchanting mermaid with scales that shimmer and are shockingly smooth to the touch, with a singing voice like silk and a speaking voice that’s charmingly human. Logan, with those blue eyes more brilliant and beautiful than anything human could hope to be, with that hair that dries into dark waves that Roman can barely stop himself from running his fingers through. Logan, with his moonlit skin and shy smile. Logan.

“Roman?” Logan asks, and Roman feels himself blush as he pushes his thoughts aside.

“Yes, right, sorry, were you saying something?”

Logan smiles fondly at him, and Roman feels himself start to melt just a bit. “I was merely asking why, when you mentioned your reasons for sailing here yesterday, you said it was to follow your heart. I’m not fully educated on the anatomy of humans, but as far as I’m aware, you need your hearts to survive, correct?”

Roman can’t help the rather unattractive snort he lets out. “Lo, that’s a figure of speech. If our hearts left our bodies then yeah, we’d definitely die.”

“Ah. Then… why do you use that expression? If you’d die without your hearts, why do you talk about following them in order to… to… I’m sorry, it seems to have slipped my mind, what does this expression mean again?”

“It’s…” Roman trails off, thinking of the best way to word his explanation. It’s surprisingly difficult to describe concepts to other people when the knowledge seems so natural. He’d learned this the hard way after explaining things to Logan that he’d thought everyone knew about on several different occasions. “It’s… sort of like following your dreams? Or letting your emotions lead?”

Logan frowns. “Why would you ever do that?”

Roman laughs. Logan’s expression doesn’t change. “Oh. You’re being serious.”

“Of course I am. What gave you the impression I would be otherwise?” Logan tilts his head to the side in curiosity, and Roman shrugs, letting him continue. “Is ‘following your heart’ something humans do often?” He doesn’t lift his hands to put finger quotes around the phrase “following your heart,” but Roman can hear them implied in his voice.

“Yes, I think? It depends on the person, but it isn’t exactly a rare occurrence. Sometimes you have to, in order to find true happiness.”

“Fascinating,” Logan says, watching Roman with curious eyes. “And it was ‘following your heart’ that brought you here?”

Roman feels himself brighten. “It was! Your singing lured me here—not in a bad way though,” he assures Logan upon seeing his face scrunch up uncomfortably, “because it gave me the courage to follow my heart when I wouldn’t have otherwise.”

“That was… me?” 

“Yeah. Without your song, I would have stayed—” he hesitates, not sure how much he should tell Logan.

“Stayed where?” Logan asks, fixing him with those blue eyes and making Roman’s decision for him.

“At the palace.”

“The _palace?_ Roman, why would you—” Logan’s voice turns soft. “You were a prince, weren’t you? And you still left?”

“I didn’t want to be there, Logan. You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t wish to.”

“But you still left your kingdom. What about your family? And… you weren’t the heir, right?”

Roman winces upon hearing the veiled guilt in Logan’s voice. He almost thinks about lying, but he knows he can’t do that to Logan. “I was.” Logan looks stricken now, and Roman stumbles through his own words in a rush to fix the damage he’s done. “But Logan, I have five brothers. One of them can lead, the kingdom will be fine, I _promise,_ and you haven’t hurt anyone, you could never hurt anyone, Logan this isn’t—”

“It is my fault.”

“But it’s _not._ Logan, you didn’t know and no one’s hurt and it was _my_ choice to leave. It’s not your fault.” Logan still doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t directly argue with Roman. Spurred on by his silence, Roman adds softly, “You helped me, if anything. And meeting you was worth it.”

Logan’s face, normally as pale and unblemished as porcelain, turns a brilliant shade of red. Roman smiles, and, encouraged by Logan’s flustered state, becomes bolder. “Seeing you blush was worth it,” he whispers, lifting a hand to brush against Logan’s cheek. 

Logan freezes at the contact, scarcely breathing. He watches as Roman moves closer, slowly enough that he can pull away. He doesn’t. He doesn’t move at all, fixing Roman with wide, unblinking eyes. 

“You’re my dream come true, Logan.”

Immediately, Logan recoils, leaving Roman’s hand hovering in the air where his face had been. “I’m not,” he says, the vulnerable look he’d had on his face vanishing in an instant. “I’m not,” he repeats, and his expression is cold. So cold.

Had Roman said something wrong? What else could have caused Logan to shut down so quickly? “I’m not lying,” Roman tries. “I mean, why do you think I sailed here?” He doesn’t reach out to Logan again, but the mermaid still leans farther away.

“Not for me.”

“Logan,” Roman begins gently, “I was following my heart, my dream. What do you think that led me to?” 

“Adventure? Freedom?” Logan tries, looking desperate.

“Love,” Roman replies, trying for a smile.

“No,” Logan insists. “No, you’re wrong.”

“Lo, I’m pretty sure I know my dream better than you do. It’s… a human thing, this is something we just know.” Roman frowns then, wondering if Logan’s so staunchly against this because he’s coming on too strong. That’s probably it, the poor mermaid hasn’t had anyone to love him before. Roman can wait if that’s the case. He’ll wait for as long as it takes.

But if Logan’s response is any indication, that doesn’t seem to be the case. “When you say dream, you _do_ mean dreams, correct?” His voice comes out unusually shrill, his body language reminiscent of a cornered animal. “Humans have more than one, don’t they?” He asks the question as though he knows the answer. As if he knows the answer, and he’s afraid of it.

“No?” Logan tenses up at that, so Roman backtracks quickly. “I mean, kind of. It’s… it’s a philosophy thing, where some people believe that we all have a specific purpose—or calling, even—in life, and that’s our one dream. All other actions stem from that, so do all other dreams. So we do have more than one, in that sense.”

“But you have only one _true_ dream,” Logan says, slowly unfurling as the tension in him falls away, giving way to resigned acceptance. “And you think that your one dream is me.”

It’s a statement, not a question, but Roman answers it anyway. “I think so, at least. I don’t know if your call would have reached me otherwise.”

Logan opens his mouth to argue, but then seems to think the better of it. “But you don’t know that for sure.” His terrified expression has reverted back to the cold, calculating one he’d had in place before. While it’s probably better than flat out fear, Roman isn’t sure by how much.

“Well, no, but—”

“Then I’m not your dream, Roman. I can’t be.”

“Why not?” Roman tries to keep the anger from his voice, but that’s proving to be rather difficult. What doesn’t Logan understand about this?

“That’s— I can’t tell you that. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Not telling me is also hurting me.”

“Then I guess I can’t really win, can I?” Logan gives him a rueful smile.

“Logan—”

“Let’s talk about something else,” Logan interrupts. “I don’t want you to leave in the morning feeling negatively about this situation.”

Roman nods, accepting the change of subject without complaint. The two talk back and forth for another half hour full of laughter and smiles, both trying equally as hard to erase the conversation that had caused far too much hurt from their minds. 

It almost works.

At the very least, Roman leaves with a smile on his face when the sun rises, the promise that he’ll return tonight still on his lips. As he leaves, he follows that promise with one whispered to himself that he’ll make sure that everything is okay, whatever it takes.

* * *

Still, when Roman returns to the ship, he can’t get Logan’s words out of his head. They feel important, and he can’t quite place why. It’s on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t remember what it could be for the life of him. Had he read something about dreams on the way over here? Is there even a book about them on the ship?

He can’t help but think that what he’s just barely remembering is important, so instead of going right to sleep when he reaches the boat again, Roman descends into the captain’s quarters, stationing himself in front of the bookshelf that only just qualifies as a library.

Completing a quick scan of the titles, he’s disappointed to find that nothing catches his eye. He’ll have to do this the old fashioned way, then.

Roman runs his right hand over the spines, frowning in concentration as he determines which books could even potentially mention dreams, motivation, hope… anything. _Nothing having to do with geography,_ he thinks, ruling out the first few titles. _Probably not physics or chemistry either. Psychology…? Maybe._ He pulls out the two books on that topic, just in case. On to the next row. 

_Definitely not sailing guides. Not anything to do with biology or cooking, nor mathematics._ Why would pirates have books on mathematics, anyway? Or psychology, chemistry, physics, or biology, for that matter? The pirates who had previously owned this ship must have been very well-read. 

He shakes his head to clear it of the distraction, crouching as he moves his hand down to the third shelf. _Mythology? Maybe._ He takes the three large tomes full of myths and legends off the shelf. The rest of the books are a blend of messily handwritten journals that Roman has yet to bring himself decipher and books in languages from other kingdoms that he isn’t quite fluent enough in to understand. Just psychology and mythology, then. Hopefully, that’s enough.

Roman stands up from his crouch to light a candle and walk over to the desk. He knows should get some rest as it’s now morning, but he has a feeling this is more important. The nagging in his mind is only getting stronger, even as his exhaustion grows.

Sitting down on the chair in front of the desk, Roman sets down his stack of five books. He flips open the cover of each, looking through the table of contents in them. He’s quickly able to rule out both psychology books when he finds no mention of dreams, motivation, hope, or anything remotely promising in any of their chapters. He feels safe enough putting them aside in favor of concentrating on the other three; he has more than enough information to work with as it is.

He yawns, slowly roving his eyes over the title of each chapter, reading and rereading each word to be sure he’s not missing anything. Roman’s eyelids feel heavy, but he forces himself to keep them open. This is important.

Yawning again, he realizes that he hasn’t processed a single word on the page he’s been staring at. With a sigh, Roman returns his eyes to the top of the page, running them down the page for a second time.

Another yawn. Another sigh as he notices he’s stopped paying attention to the words on the page again. Another return to the top of the page. 

Another yawn, another sigh, and his eyelids slip shut. This time he doesn’t resist their pull as he lets his head fall onto the book he’d been trying to read. He can sleep now. Reading can come later, no matter how important. He won’t be able to understand the words written on the pages if he can barely concentrate enough to keep his eyes open. Besides, how important could this really be? Yes, reading these books can wait. 

Roman allows himself to drift off, content in the knowledge that when he wakes up, it will only be a few more hours until he can see Logan again and somehow assure them both that everything is going to be okay.


	5. Remember My Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Logan has a realization, makes a decision, and says goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: one vaguely described kiss, more angst than usual
> 
> the song in this chapter is the one (1) musical song, [i will be there](https://open.spotify.com/track/1nCQg20c4XBV8C1qKohgW6?si=C0uomj5zR6GBT4UgnF7JfA) from the count of monte cristo

Logan has been a fool. He’s been a fool for thinking that he, a siren, could fall in love without it ending in disaster. He’s been a fool for getting so attached to Roman when he knows how this has to end. He’s been a fool for staying in this grotto and waiting for Roman to come back time and time again. He’s been a fool for waiting so long before draining his victim, for feeling his power grow weaker by the day and still putting off the inevitable. 

Because this _is_ inevitable. He can’t continue waiting for a different option; he’s not going to survive until then. No one else is coming. Logan can barely lure Roman out to the grotto, much less someone possibly oceans away.

If he doesn’t do this, he’s going to _die._

But at the same time, he can’t do this. He knows instinctively that he will not, under any circumstances, be able to drain Roman. 

Logan doesn’t have any other choice though. Not besides death.

Sure, he _could_ abandon Roman, leave him here on the island and use what little energy he has left to swim to somewhere less secluded in the hope that maybe then, someone would hear him. It’s the best choice he has, in all honesty. Even then though, that’s a lot to hope for. That could still very well end in death. 

And, though he will never admit it out loud, the sentimental part of himself that grows with every moment spent alongside Roman wants to stay with the man he’s fallen in love with for just a little while longer.

Because this is love. It had taken Logan forever to admit, but what he feels for Roman _is_ love. That’s why he won’t— _can’t_ —drain Roman. That’s why he doesn’t want to leave, even if it would be the best choice for both of them.

Even if it’s likely that Roman doesn’t love him in return. 

Even on the off chance that he _does,_ it will never amount to anything, no matter how many hours they’ve spent talking beneath the stars. 

Even though Roman is sweet and understanding and kind, even though Roman listens to and cares about him in a way that no one else in his life ever has, even if he’s going to miss Roman more than he can possibly imagine… that won’t change a thing. 

Their love will be one that’s doomed from the start. And Logan may be selfish, but he will never allow Roman to be hurt at his hands.

So no matter how much he doesn’t want to, Logan is going to leave. Tonight.

Because he can’t keep luring Roman back, keep singing to him of a dream that will never come true, not if Roman had been right about it. Logan refuses to bring pain to the one person he’s ever truly cared for.

Even if it means returning to a life of loneliness, even if it means breaking his own heart, he has to.

It’s not as though Roman will miss him anyway. Really, this is for the best.

Logan knows this. It’s the only option he has that doesn’t end in his, Roman’s, or both of their deaths. Therefore, logically, he shouldn’t have any doubts about following through with it.

But with love, Logan has found, logic rarely ever has a place. As Roman had said, sometimes you have to “follow your heart” in order to find happiness. 

It’s too bad, then, that Logan can’t do that this time. This time, he has to do what’s right.

So, as he’s done every night for the past month, two weeks, and five days, Logan calls out to Roman with the song that has become theirs. _“Ah-ah, ah-ah.”_

By this point, surely Roman knows that if he wanted to ignore the song, he could. Surely he’s felt its pull growing weaker as Logan’s power dwindles.

But for whatever reason, Roman’s still coming tonight. Logan can feel him and his dream traveling closer, though he genuinely doesn’t know why. Roman could easily leave, so why hasn’t he? 

There’s one explanation that Logan can think up off the top of his head, but the idea seems so impossible to him that he denies it the ability to take up any space in his mind. He doesn’t so much as think the words.

* * *

Roman’s journey, as per usual, takes a few minutes. This gives Logan more than enough time to rethink his idea and back out of something that will only bring him pain. He won’t, though. He refuses to allow Roman to be hurt by dragging this out for longer than he ever should have. This is something he should have done long ago if he’s being honest, but this is also the sort of thing that’s done better late than never.

When he hears Roman’s footsteps drawing nearer, Logan begins to sing without preamble, without waiting for Roman to be able to say anything at all. If he starts to talk, Logan will undoubtedly rethink a decision that has to be made. So he sings, losing himself in this final song.

_“In the light that falls at moonrise,_  
_In the rhythm of the rain,_  
_In the miracle of ordinary days._  
_In the hush of night,_  
_I will be in the whispers of lovers_  
_Everywhere_  
_You will find me there.”_

Roman silently picks his way over the remain rocks before him, his feet navigating the path deftly in a testament to how often he’s been here. He sits down quietly in front of Logan, listening to the song spun just for him with everything Logan has left to give woven into it.

_“In the rustle of a curtain,_  
_In the bustle of the world,_  
_In a thousand little unexpected ways._  
_When you lift your gaze,_  
_I will be like the shimmer of one small star_  
_Out there_  
_Shining everywhere.”_

As of this moment, Roman is enraptured by Logan’s voice, unable to fully comprehend the lyrics and their meaning. One day though, he will realize what they mean and hopefully, he will understand. By then though, Logan will be long gone. So perhaps that doesn’t matter at all.

_“I will be there,_  
_Beside you_  
_Through the lonely nights that fall._  
_So close your eyes,_  
_Remember my embrace._  
_I will be there,_  
_Like mercy_  
_I will find you through it all._  
_This do I swear:_  
_I will be there.”_

Just as he had with the very first song he’d sung for Roman, Logan allows him the knowledge of the lyrics to reply with, if he so chooses. Since the song is curated by the sirens’ magic for one person and one person alone, Roman would not know the lyrics on his own. And since Logan has grown to know Roman as an incredibly dramatic person, he knows that he will seize any chance to sing and show off. Tonight is no different.

“In a language never spoken  
Lived the promises we made,  
In the endless love that owns me, heart and soul.  
In the certainty I will always be true  
And as near as my next prayer,  
You will find me there.”

Logan has to remind himself then that he’s still the siren, not Roman. If he were to be asked though, Logan would have claimed without hesitation that Roman’s voice is the more beautiful one, the _most_ beautiful one he’s ever heard. Truly, it’s no wonder that he’d fallen for this man so easily.

“In the echo of the ocean,  
In the haunting of the wind,  
In mysterious, extraordinary ways.  
Through the darkest sky,  
I will be like the shimmer of one small star  
Out there,  
Shining everywhere.

“I will be there,  
Beside you  
Through the lonely nights that fall.  
So close your eyes,  
Remember my embrace.  
I will be there,  
Like freedom  
I will find you through it all.  
This do I swear:  
I will be there.”

After Roman’s chorus, there’s the bridge of the song, a bridge that requires the two of them to alternate lines and shape this into an even more lovely duet. The chorus after it follows the same format, and Logan nearly swoons as he realizes how much he’s going to be able to hear Roman’s voice.

“In the harbor quarter.”

_“In the stone and mortar.”_

Just as he had in Roman’s chosen duet the second time they’d met, Logan allows Roman’s voice to overpower his as they sing together, “In the star that we both share.”

Roman again takes the lead in the next line, “In the sound of laughter.”

_“Now and ever after.”_

The final part of the song allows their voices to intertwine again, overlapping and harmonizing. Logan is intensely grateful to his magic for choosing such a perfect final song.

“Look for me, I will be there.  
I will be there,  
Beside you  
Through the lonely nights that fall.  
So close your eyes.”

_“Remember my embrace.”_

“Remember my embrace.”

_“I will be there.”_

“I’ll be there.” Roman’s line is shortened slightly so he can catch up to Logan and they are able to sing in unison again. 

“Like justice,  
I will find you through it all.”

_“This do I swear.”_

“This do I swear.”

_“I will be there.”_

“This do I swear,  
I will be there.”

For one final time, Logan and Roman’s voices are lifted in ethereal harmony.

“This do I swear,  
I will be there.” 

As the last note hangs in the air, Logan smiles softly, nearly forgetting why he’d brought Roman here in the first place. But he doesn’t forget when he sees Roman’s eyes on him, glittering in the light of the moon. He remembers why he has to leave, no matter how much his heart may break. So Logan leans forward, resting his forehead against Roman’s in an action that’s as feather-light and loving as a siren’s touch could possibly be.

”Goodbye,” Logan whispers, the word barely a breath on the wind as he leans infinitesimally closer to Roman. For the first time, he connects their lips.

There are no sparks, and the world hasn’t become suddenly perfect. It just feels right. There’s no heat behind the action, just a gentle expression of everything Logan could never possibly say himself. The kiss is soft and short and given time, it could become so much more.

But there’s no time left for them. The only thing Logan can do is whisper another goodbye before sealing his words in place with a second, final kiss. He leans back, and the smile he gives Roman is a sad one.

Wishing he could do anything but this, Logan turns from the man he’s fallen in love with and vanishes into the water with a flick of his tail. Then he’s gone.


	6. Now and Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman moves on, Logan returns to the grotto once more, and they both wish for something impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: unhappy ending + more angst
> 
> i apologize in advance for any excess pain this chapter may bring

It has been exactly a month—down to the hour—since Logan left him here. Alone. And not a day goes by that Roman doesn’t miss him. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t return to the grotto, hoping he’ll see him once more.

* * *

Every day for nearly a month, Roman had gone back, full of new hope. And every day for nearly a month, he returned to the ship, full of the same confusion and numb sadness that had been haunting him since he’d last heard Logan’s voice.

Roman had been lethargic, refusing to move from his bed if it wasn’t to swim back to the island, scarcely eating, unable to properly sleep. He hadn’t been able to feel anything but a gaping hole where his heart was supposed to be and the cruelest of hopes. He’d been listless and miserable for the better part of the month before something within him had cracked. 

That one crack had let loose an overwhelming rush of feelings, and Roman had finally confronted his emotions. The final shattering of his heart had allowed him to truly feel his sadness for the first time since Logan had left, bringing with it a torrent of tears. He’d cried for hours, broken sobs that no one else would ever hear. He’d grieved for a relationship that had barely begun, for a love that he’d barely gotten to know before he vanished into the night.

Roman’s heart still ached with longing for something he no longer had and its brokenness hurt more than he could possibly describe, but with the pain came a sort of calm. Nothing felt right, but at least now, Roman had accepted that. 

With his acceptance came determination—determination to figure out why Logan had left. Because while he had accepted that he may never see Logan again, he would never accept that Logan had broken his heart without reason.

It was then that Roman had remembered the books laid out on his desk and the strange way that Logan had reacted the night before their last song together. He’d set his focus firmly on reading everything he could about dreams in those mythology books for two days, pausing only when he had to. Those were the only two days that he hadn’t gone to the grotto in the past month, and in the late hours of the night, he wondered sometimes if he would have seen Logan one more time had he gone. (He wouldn’t have. He knew that, deep down. Logan wasn’t going to come back.)

Despite that, he read on, ignoring the temptation to stop. The answers would be worth it once he found them.

And they were. Just before Roman was about to give up on the second day, he’d found a story.

_Rusalki’s Tale_

_It was still near the beginning of time when Rusalki was born, the forbidden daughter of Mesyats and Tiarnoglofi. Though she was hidden away from the world as she grew up, quickly, she proved to her parents that she was just as powerful as any fully formed deity. And Rusalki, knowing already that she was special, wanted to see the world and prove to it that she was more than just her parents’ daughter. Refusing to be kept a secret any longer, she left the protection of Mesyats and Tiarnoglofi, subjecting herself to the mortifying ideal of being known._

_The people of nearby kingdoms immediately took a liking to her with her sharp wit and silver tongue. She was also a beautiful goddess by all accounts, but that wasn’t what set her apart. No, that was her ambition. She wanted so much more intensely than any other deity, and the mortals saw pieces of their own desires in hers. They gave Rusalki the oceans, and they prayed to her for tranquil seas and realized dreams. In return for their generosity, Rusalki granted the mortals these things._

_Even after being gifted the title of Goddess Of The Oceans And Ambitions, fittingly enough, Rusalki still wanted more. This wasn’t a thing fueled by greed; she didn’t want power or influence or recognition, she just wanted for something she couldn’t explain._

_The seas sensed Rusalki’s unrest and responded in kind. Though her ambitions weren’t intended for ill, the humans felt her desires and, being naturally greedy creatures, twisted them to fit their own needs. Rusalki’s immense power was growing, feeding on the response of the oceans and mortals alike. She may have been powerful and clever but without control, Rusalki was dangerous._

_Other deities saw this in her. Some grew worried, but others grew angry at Mesyats and Tiarnoglofi for defying the laws of nature. These angry deities were the ones who decided that something had to be done before Rusalki single-handedly destroyed the world. They were the ones who took the fabric of her being and tore it apart. Without preamble, these angry deities ripped Rusalki’s ambitions from her._

_It wasn’t supposed to be a painful process, but taking a part of someone that is so integral to who they are could never have been done without consequence._

_The screams of the sea goddess echoed across the world, mourning the piece of herself that she’d lost. They whipped through the waves of the ocean, forming beings of water and pain._

_Rusalki’s cries had formed the sirens. Their songs held just as much promise as she once had, and they entranced all those who could hear them._

_Rusalki’s lost ambitions dispersed into mortals everywhere, and she wanted them back. She still does to this day, and she will never be satisfied. This is why sirens are said to feed on the dreams of mortals, hoping to steal back what their creator had once had._

The story officially ended there, but Roman had been just barely able to decipher a hand-written footnote near the bottom of the page. 

_Perhaps one day, Rusalki will have enough but until then, we pirates would do well to stay wary of songs that tempt us and voices that promise things that we’ll never have._

So it seemed that Logan wasn’t a mermaid after all. It seemed that Logan _had_ left him for a good reason.

To protect him.

* * *

That had been one week ago. Each day after that, Roman had gone back to the grotto, whispering what he’d learned to the memory of Logan, hoping that he’d know one day that he understood. That he still loved him, would always love him.

Then, one month after Logan had said goodbye, Roman moves on too.

He decides to leave. No longer can he stand staying in a place that had once held so much promise for him, not when that promise has been stolen away. So he’s not going to. 

He’d thought about singing today, trying one last thing to bring Logan back, but ultimately had decided against it. Roman is content to let the song they’d sung together a month before to be their last. Instead, he speaks.

“Logan,” he starts, taking a breath. “I miss you. I love you, and I understand now why you left. I love you for choosing to protect me, for being the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, for being… you.” He swallows. “I’m here to say goodbye, for real this time. I never got the chance to before, and I think I should. I think it will help.”

Roman sits down at the edge of the pool, closing his eyes briefly before blinking them open and staring out into nothing. “Goodbye, Logan,” he says to the still air of the grotto. “I will never stop missing you, nor will I ever forget you. I refuse to stop loving you either, with your heart of gold and eyes of starlight, a smile like quicksilver and a voice more beautiful than anything I’ve ever known. I’ll love you in all your perfect imperfections, always.”

Roman allows a single tear to overflow from the dozens gathering his eyes and trail down his cheek, falling into the water and leaving only the smallest of ripples behind. “Always,” he whispers again. 

“So goodbye, my love. I wish I could—” Roman’s voice goes quiet. Selfishly, he doesn’t want to voice this one hope. Just once, he’d like to keep this for himself. “I wish you more than all the joy you’ve brought me,” he says instead, reeling his true dream back into his heart, protecting it from the world.

He stares into the depths of the pool that had once been Logan’s home, hoping more than he thought possible that his love will be there. That he’ll answer, that he’ll come back. 

Roman shakes his head and stands up. He knows it’s impossible for that to happen because after all, Logan’s goodbye had been very final. No matter how much he wishes it weren’t so, Roman knows that his love is gone for good.

But still, he holds onto the wish, the hope, the dream that maybe someday… Maybe someday things could change.

Maybe someday.

* * *

It has been exactly a month—down to the hour—since Logan left Roman. Alone. And not a day goes by that he doesn’t regret it. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t wish he could return to the grotto in the hopes of seeing him once more.

Now, at long last, he has. 

And now, after so long spent wishing, he regrets it.

Logan watches helplessly from behind an outcropping of rock on the other side of the grotto as Roman turns around, tears still glittering in his eyes. He wants to reach out, to sing to him, to comfort him. He can’t of course, and he regrets ever allowing himself the temptation.

Logan hadn’t heard what Roman had been saying, but he’s sure it caused him pain. He’d been crying when he’d stopped, after all. If it had been about Logan, about him leaving… then he hopes deep within his heart that one day, Roman will understand why he had to do what he did.

More than that though, he hopes that one day he’ll be able to see the one person he’s ever loved again.

He knows it’s impossible because after all, sirens can’t stop being sirens. No matter how much he wishes he it weren’t so, Logan can’t do anything but hurt Roman.

But still, he holds onto the wish, the hope, the dream that maybe someday… Maybe someday things could change.

Maybe someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: the myth in this chapter is entirely made up with zero basis in fact besides the names. those were taken from real deities in slavic mythology because names,,, hard

**Author's Note:**

> i will give you thousands of virtual hugs if you leave me a comment and will also forever be in your debt, thank you in advance.
> 
> you can also find me here:  
> [tumblr](https://ratherstarryeyed.tumblr.com), [twitter](https://twitter.com/ratherstareyed)


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